Gecko Love

Raj, you need to know things about me that I have never told you. It will be easier for you to manage me that way. I hate lizards, they give me the creeps and they always stare me down. If you have lizards in your kitchen, there is no way I will do the cooking! I love to cook but not everyday. You need to take me out once in a while. Maybe once a month. I love long drives and I am not a shopaholic. I shop rarely and don't spend much. But I would love you to take me out shopping and tell me which dress to wear, what color what fabric. I wear westerns, I hope your parents won't object. Its just that I never wore salwars. And Raj, though I come across as someone strong and sure, I feel terribly low at times and find it difficult to take decisions. You need to help me when I am down. You sleep at 10 and I at 11. I hope you will not want to change that. I will read something while you sleep. And you know what... I love to sleep naked (blush blush), entwined and huddled. You don't mind that do you Raj?

No babe. Its all perfect with me, except the lizard bit. Over the years, I have allowed a couple of them to roam freely in the house. You know how it feels when you are living alone and there is no one to talk to?

Don't tell me you used to talk to lizards?

I still do. They even talk back to me in gecko language!

You are crazy Raj!

Ah! Princess, that's the only thing I always wanted you to know about me! See, now you know me as well!

Timeless

Raj...what is "Time"?

Hmmm...why do you ask me stupid questions. I am not Aristotle!

Honey, please answer this one for me please, I am a little muddled in my mind.

Time is that which passes between a beginning and an end. It can be measured by peeling off pages from a calendar or stupidly counting the number of times your watch repeats its stupid movements.

But what if there is no beginning and no end. How will you define Time for things with no beginning and no end?

They are timeless.

Thank you Raj. You are my Plato.

Gawking at the Moon

Life exhausts itself at a pace beyond my control. I have been dancing to heavy metal for too long. I think it is time for a slow dance. The night sky shows whatever stars my city can afford to show me, they are not many. No, I cannot hear the whirring of the universe, the honking horns probably drowns them. No, I do not have too many people who would take my call at this hour, there is just you and my landlord who will probably be drunk by this time. I know it is late. I know I could have given you some advance notice. Yes I know there is no one to feed the fishes. Yes I know that two bags of laundry is pending. Yes, I understand that the neighbors will be very curious as to where you are going at this hour.

It will only take an hour. If you want, I will drop you back as well. Don't worry I will return on my own. No, it can't be done at your place. Your terrace is locked and there are too many high rises around your apartment. Yes, ten minutes with me. Yes I do. I promise I will not try to do hanky panky. No seriously, you have to believe me. I just want you to be here when I gawk at the Moon.

Beep beep beep.

Forever Whatever Whenever

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Yes. I am busy most days. Yes. I don't have what you would call a life. I have not gone to a pub in the last five years. Never taken a four day break, except to attend a wedding or a funeral. I do not have a passport and I do not want to travel to Europe our Dubai. I only read FB and rarely seed FB. The only time I spend on doing anything other than working is writing and yes I know, I am selfish and I write because it gives me an alternate sense of identity.

I am a small fry, a nobody. I know that when I die of stress or heart attack or brain hemorrhage, I will not be called a martyr by my Board of Directors. No resolution will be passed to install my half butt near the parking lot. No sparrow poop for me either! All I will do is proudly go and stand in queue of millions of dead donkeys with broken backs in heaven. And bray my prayers loudly to neutered angels who can't probably play substitute to dear lass Sunny Leonne. And now don't ask me who she is. I know her very closely, though she has the right to disagree!! Poor she.
What do you want me to do? Live for you? What would that really mean? No really, what would that really mean? Write me a few lines, tell me that it will be different from my todays. Tell me that we will dance around trees and all bills will get paid. Tell me that there will no boss, no clients, no team members and no targets. I have a better idea. Marry me, let me be your wife!


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PS: This writing is not judgmental of wives or non working women. It is just funny easy reading.

Beautiful...forever

I cannot promise you that I will be the best thing that will happen to you. Life is not a never ending circus, it has its ups and downs. And between the shows, I have heard that there is much hard work. When the curtains go up, i will be your favorite clown, dancing around you and trying to make you laugh.  And when the lights are down, I will be there to tend to your swollen feets, massage your shoulders and wash away your makeup. I will make your bed and hush you to sleep. And I will always find you beautiful.

Dream On!

I am a traveling salesman. All my life, I have sold ordinary stuff, but not before carefully wrapping them in mystical weaves of svelte velvet dreams. I have heard the best of stories from one shore, added a wee bit of my own and sold it to the other shores. This will never end. I have a million more. There have always been people who stopped to listen. Always people who have waited with silent anticipation, hoping that the story teller would come their way, and amidst his tales, sell them some stupid stuff as well. In me they heard their own voices, mine was muted, I never had a story of my own. And as I grew older, I learned the kind of stories that people love to hear. Those were no stories of fairies and gnomes, these were stories of ordinary lives, everyday people like you and me, fighting over every day issues, and winning! For the drab life that they lived, they wanted me to make them believe in an alternate life. From the yesterdays that they remembered, and the today they consumed, they wanted me to make them believe that their tomorrows will be different! Tomorrow, their dreams would come true!

I know that you still believe in Jackpots, I know that you still believe in GOD. I know that you believe that some day some one will touch your life in a way that will make you smile and tickle you from insides. Until that day, you have me, and you have my stories. For every dream that you buy, there is also this little truth that I sell. Dream on.

Black!

I once knew a girl who would look at me as if I were the Creator and she my Creation. She was otherwise a very fiery spirit, always the one with most questions, always the one who had the last word. But when she was with me she went all silent, as if I were a black hole and every time we were around, she used to take shapes of things I love, she used to lose herself and become a part of me. For me, she used to become a muted doll. Exquisite to look at, amazing to drape around, awesome to sleep with, but slowly, a bore to wake up to.

I remember the first days of our relationship. I used to love Hard rock cafe and she was a Rolling Stone buff. I loved Meatloaf, and she was stuck with MJ. I used to quote Ayn Rand, and she would quote from the Manifesto. I loved this girl once, she was wonderfully different.

Two colors could blend to form a third one. We could have together become more than each other. And then one day she woke up from her slumber. It seems she found me with another doll draped around. She glowed and cursed and walked out in a huff. Her last words as she flung her keys on my face and packed her Elle and Diors were the ones I will never forget. I curse you. May your color remain BLACK!

In response to Midas by Raajii .

P.S. The use of black here is figurative. It is not used here with any racial connotation.

Forever parallel

Do you see these tracks Raj?
I do princess.
What do they make you feel?
Ah! Now you think I have feelings too?
Offo Raj, I want an answer.
I love being near them. In fact, I have one running close to where I live.
Funny you would say that Raj. I live next to them too.
I know princess. We discussed this fifteen years ago.
Big deal Raj. What did you do about it?
You remember that guy who sold me my house two years ago?
Haneef?
Yes.
Ya Raj, i remember, what about him?
When I was buying my house, I gave him only one specification.
And that was?
I told Haneef that I wanted a house next to a railway track.
Dog you are Raj.
Bhou bhou baby.

Sunlight in your smile

All these years...and suddenly there were a dozens of photos of you smiling. Most nights, a little before slumber invades, I think of how you might be crying yourself to sleep, shaking in throbs, muffling those sobs and drying those tears so that he does not get irritated at you.

All these years and suddenly I see you smiling through so many beautiful pics. I wish I could steal some happiness from these pics and save it for a rainy day. I could then send some smiles your way, in little installments of sunlight.

You look awesome when you are happy.

Parents

Parents are probably the greatest gift God gave to children. As I grow older, I closely observe my parents and their role in my life. Even in their sixties, they relentlessly continue to make sacrifices for me that are very difficult for me to fully comprehend. It is maybe because I do not have a child or a partner of my own.

My ma misses her evening serial so that my rotis are ready. My dad catches an auto so that I can travel by his airconditioned car. The list of small things they do for me everyday is endless. They continue to surprise me by pushing the boundaries of sacrifice for me. And to imagine that it started 39 years ago and continues unabated to this day is an humbling experience.

When lord Ganesha and lord Karthik were asked to make a quick round the world trip, Karthik promptly flew away on his peacock, hoping to win the race. Lord Ganesha was a step ahead. He quickly took a round of where his parents were sitting. Thereby, winning the race.a

Long Flights

Long flights remind me of you. All this cacophony of every day living and suddenly there is so much time. What do I do with all this time?

Long flights remind me of you.

I have left the city lights and even the clouds behind. Up here there is white sunshine. I can see right up to the rim and beyond.

The constant growl of engines is the only give away, nothing  moves, for hours, everything outside remains same. And then you start taking over my mind. Like the sky that turns crimson before night, I can feel your thoughts invade, pervade, persuade.

Color me crimson when there is still time. Color me crimson before it is night. Long flights... Ah long flights!